Pete (the Sweet)
  Cousin by
association to Large Sarge
and Naboo, Pete
(the
Sweet) first showed up on July 4, 2003. Like all dogs
in an animal shelter, Pete was on his "last day" before they were going
to
"put him down." In case you haven't noticed, all dogs are always
on their "last day" before they have to be "put down." What most
people don't realize, however, is that "put down" doesn't mean killed -
it references a "put down" like you may remeber from junior high
school. For instance, they might say to the dog:
- "You're so dumb, when god was passing out brains, you
thought he said trains, and said 'I'll take the next one to New York.' "
- "When god gave out looks, you thought he said books and
said 'I'll take a funny one'."
- "Your
mom is a bitch." (note to the kids. This is one of those times
when it's okay to say "bitch", because that's what a female dog is
called. This is also one of those "interesting facts" that you
can bring up during dinner, especially if you don't want to finish your
vegetables and are trying to get sent to your room, where you can play
videogames.)
Anyhow.. that's the real truth behind animal shelters "putting down"
dogs. It's not necessarily nice,
but it's no worse than anything everyone went through in their
adolescence. Also, while we're on the subject, your dog isn't as
cool as mine. Unless you are my wife and/or son, in which case
your dog is equally as cool as mine. Also cats are stupid...
And dumb.
Pete (the Sweet) was named, of course, after the one and
only Pete
Hamster,
who was named after the one and only Peter Trapp, who was the finest
manager ever to work in any of the 3 Toledo-area Toys "R" Us
stores. Seriously - he was the best. I can think of no way
to commemorate such an individual that would be more fitting than
having rodents and dogs named after him. He was that great.
Included below are some photographs of Pete (the
Sweet) in action.
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